Tuesday, January 31, 2006

twisted yet smiling = mie!

haiyahh! im twisted as always larhh. problems here and there. but its tanx to some peeps im styll living ; my hopes are not 100% shhattered. "styll got hope ; styll got hope." LOLS! well. i reallie wanna thank peeps whu never fails to be dere for mie to brighten my day in one way or other. namely:
. stephanie
. syz athira
. syz syakirah
. syz azlindah
. bro farwan
. irsyarudin
. afy
. eL
. shafi'e
. irwan
. a'an
. vick

well. those are the IMPORTANT ONES. and if you think you too played a part but your name is not mentioned, i apologise. but styll, thanx a million!

urghh! why must this be happening to me? why must i be the one torn in between guys? why must they be wanting me so badly? what is it that they see in me which other ghurls dont have? what guys? what? arghh! im just gonna do a showt out to the guys i am talking about kayss.

[irsyarudin shah-youu! i feel like giving up and stepping down! i know you wudnt let me do it cause we've gone this far together and it would be hard for us to just let this go just like that. but i'd rather hurt myself than hurt others. including you! i truly know that you will never want to let me go but i just dont wanna hurt anybody! well. you'll never understand my feeling. i may be smyling on the outside but only God knows of the pain im suffering inside. ):
[muhammad rizal-damn! why now rizal? why now then you decided to come back to my life? we were together for six months and i bet there were many ups and downs that was faced by us but styll we managed to pull through. we were so happy together untyl nurul came and you decided to leave me to be with her. i said "fine!" ; i accepted the fact of it and now you're telling mie dat you regret it? and wants me back? just what rubbish is this?! but still, im not trying to say that i dont love you or what arhh. but i just carn forget your mistake. im just too afraid of being hurt again. please gimme some tymes kays to think everythink through.
[muhammad fadhil-"bukan ku tak sudi kasih, untuk bersamamu bercinta lagi. kerna antara kita, tidak sehaluan lagi! maafkan diriku sayang, menolak cintamu untuk kali ini. walaupun ku tahu, bersungguh benar rasa hatimu." dis line goes specially to you for i know that there's nothing left for us to lean on and give it a second chance to begin with again. im truly sorry!
[muhammad hafiz-i have to say to you too that "i'm sorry!" for i carn accept your love anymore. my love for you faded the moment you went away ; the moment you declared that you wanted to only be my friend. but styll. do remember that feelings may have faded but never the memories. so, here i am thanking you for creating all those precious moments for us to remember. greatly appreciated. tenkiew tenkiew. (:
lastly. to zulfadhli ; tanx larhh ehk for making me smyle kejap. kejep pon at least you made me smile. kan you kan. hehex.

yahooo!! i am so happy xia! why happy oso i dotno. haha!

well. today was okayy. woke up wen i received hiz call. murnyng call ; my alarm clock. (: talked awhile den he hadta get ready for skewl. i got up from bed and shockingly headed for de toilet without dilly-dally'ing. SHOCKING BT TRUE OKAY PEOPLE!

trained to skewl alone and met randell at yishun mrt. class was so freaking boring!! i ended up yakking wit afy about BGR thingy. HAHA! and messaging fizsk at de same tyme. finally, lunch came but i didnt eat nytynk tho. not in de mood. was pasrah-ing wen hiz call came. tersenyom kejap. (: [well baby, you noe wen is de tyme i need you most. mwuahx.* yak tyll it was tyme for our next lesson which was at 1PM]

had de theory lesson. i slept in class! sheesh. i waszen de only one whu did it. ; even afy did! bluwekx. after skewl. trained home wit afy. den ayah took me from dover mrt. kater nak go makan. true enuff ; we headed for adams road. i had mee rebus.[dat was my breakfast.]

was on de wae home wen steph called to teman her take her fone back from sindhu. as a loyal fren, i accompinied her den went to clementi to fatch de kids. was filled wit boredom wen crossing de road and suddenly my fone rang ; he called. [see! i told ya he noes wen to be dere for mie] yak wit hym de whole journey home tyll my fone died on mie. geesz!

now here i am blogging! (:

//SIAPA sebenarnya yang menjadi punca PERPISAHAN kita?
//SUKAR bagiku untuk TERIMA kehadiranmu untuk bersama kali KEDUA.

today was AWESOME!!

ferstly, it was all thankx to my bestie! she was dere for mie to kill my boredom. go jalan-jalan wit her and bought myself two mickey tops. (: slacked around too. you rox bestie!!

den it was hym. *melting* LOLS! he smangatly called at 0630HRS just to sae good morning and hear my morning voice. aww. he's swiet. swieter den any others. (: love you baby!!

hym: sayangg! i miss you many many leii. we'll meet up on friday kayss. jgn buey horhh. den im gonna bite you wen i meet you! mark my werds. nyahaha!! doodles!
steph: thankx many many yarhh bestie for being dere for mie. your craziness reallie rox my werld babe!! frens forever aitesz! (:
auntie sue: auntie dearest! its no more sepasang2. dis watch means nutynk to mie. its just a watch. and soon its gonna be adeq's. so she can do anytynk wit it. i dont kaire. bluweks!
syz azlindah: sassy syz of myne! i miss you and your testimonials larhh. meet up verie soon kayss. miss youu!
fizsk: weitx! sorie ehk kalau my message to you tadie soinded harsh. i waszen being mie arhh. cos ngah mood swing. you got mie at the wrong tyme of de dae. sorie ehk. and i'll check my plans to see if we can meet up soon.


[nothings gonna change my love for you]

aiyayaiyayai! im so bored! and since im bored and has nutynk to do, den i tynk blog pon kire oraite larhh ehk. (: kkays. lemme update on de two daes i've been M.I.A! haha.
180106
. MY ferst day of skewl.
. met randell, satnam, is and jian wei at yishun interchange.
. skewl was freaking bored xia! wit no book nutynk.
. from nine tyll twelve, i became a slacker. LOLS!
. finally it was tyme to go off.
. took de train to city hall to meet *irsyarudin*. -KENANGAN BEB CITY HALL-
. seriously thot i was going to be layte cos i took de train onie at twelve twenty.
. wen i reached, it was twelve fifty eight. HAHA! -i waszen layte okay you!-
. walked to de mosque cos *he* nak smayang ferst.
. i wayted and wayted and wayted tyll *he* finally came out.
. den we walked from de mosque to de national library.
. browsed for books but cudnt find any interesting ones for *his* upcoming project.
. left de library eventho wen it was raining.
. WE got wet. *wink*
. slacked at mcdonalds. while *he* planned or *his* project.
. *he* wanted to sent me home but i saed tyll my bus stop will do.
. dropped at commonwealth den took 147.
. i dropped at my bus stop while *he* took to dover mrt.
. and *he* went home.
. chatted wit syz azlindah abt todae and she was soo jealous! LOLS! takper syz. i believe my bro more romantic. (: and yeahh. *he* is FREAKIN tall. and i reallie mean freakin. LOLS!!
- *youu*!! tanx ehk for bothering to send mie home despite de fact dat *you* had to travel from one end to de other. greatly appreciated. hehex. -
190106
. i was on MC. yay! didnt hafta face skewl. HAHA!.but ehkk. im a total slacker xia. now dah second year den i beginning to slack. ohh tidakk!! *youu*! boost back my smangat to attend skewll. before my hopes and dreams all shatter to tiny pieces just liddat!! =x

dahh larh people. i wanna ring *hym* up and watch teevee. ciaosz! flood my board!

SORRIE EHK PEOPLE! I APOLOGISE IN ADVANCE. COS I WONT BE BLOGGING FOR A WHILE AS IM HAVING SOME COMPLICATION WIT MY EYES. SORRIE MANY MANY ESPECIALLY TO SYZ AZLINDAH FOR HAVING TO READ DE SAME OLD ENTRY. (: LOVE YOU SYZ!!

esplanade's double-date outing was . . .

ferst of all, met fizsk at woodlands mrt at 8.00PM before heading for esplanade. hadta wayte for hym to finish werk ; and it as lyk wayting for de apple to drop larh xiaa!! i was feeling so uneasy wayting as de people dere were lyk looking at mie and giving mie a wierd look. macam tak penahh nampak orang. dey kept looking and i kept ignoring. and lyk finally! fizsk came. ohwee! i held on to his bag and dose people all looked down. macam paham jek tu mataer aku! wahaha!

we den took de train to city hall. andkan, dalam train pon masey ngah pikey duer kali sheyy weder nak go esplanade ke tanak. but in de end, we decided to gif it a shot. hehex. reached dere at around 9.30PMwit de stoink-iest ever face and met up wit de other couple. (: he salam-ed bro farwan and few minutes layter we went to anoder place. *wink*

did de coupling stuff and suddenly we were both moved to haf REALITY CHECK talk. out of de blue larh xia for us to be doink it. tak penah penah babe. even werds lyk "i realised ehk kalau kiter click, kiter click giler ; kalau tak click, adoii. rabak" ; "you pon penah terpikey abt it ehk? hmm. same same. (:" came out. waddehell! hahax. de wierdness of love. and fizsk. you said sumtynk lyk "wen i look at de watch den i begin to tynk of you." *kirekan, slame nie sebelom we had de same watch, i didnt cross your mind arh nie? grinx. giget aru tawoo ehk! LOLS.*

we were oreadi FRENS by de tyme we were heading home. which was at around 11.20PM. but styll, both of us were joking around and larffing lyk it was nobody's business and some people dere even gaf us de wierd look. hahaha! trained home wit only bro farwan and syz azlindah as fizsk took de train towards de other side. den suddenly syz azlindah asked "why your boifren tak anta nana balek?" i wanted to cry wen i heard de werd boifren but i just stayed strong and answered "ohh. besok pagi he got soccer. so let hym haf early rest. (:"

trained home wit bro farwan and syz azlindah. but hadta walk home alone as bro wanted to sent syz azlindah tyll her place. i showered ryte away while messaging hym oso and saed sumtynk bout cutting myself den he say "im sure you haf brains and not stoopidity ryte." *adoii. menusuk ke kalbu sindiran you tuhh. hmph!*

i knew he kaired but styll, i cut myself. but its one slice jek. got into my nyte gown after finished bathing and messaged hym "im reallie sorie. number one's up. i reallie cudnt help it." he didnt reply so i cudnt wayte no more and wen to sliep. cried to sliep to be exact.

syz azlindah: yay! i managed to meet you. we do dis type of outing more often kayss. and niwae, tanx for showing concern about my eyes. my eye problem is onlie half de reason. you noe de answer to de other half. you got it ryte. tynk back on wart you mentioned kayss. hehex. italy yalle!! hahax!!
bro farwan: i love you! haha. i wanna do a shout out to you too cos you too played a part in just now's outing budden i dotno wart to say larhh. LOLS.
------------------------------------------
fizsk: tanx ehk for de wonderful nyte at esplanade. boley tahan jugak ehk your mepekness wen heading home. (: miss you and your mepekness and sarcacism. haha!! mwuahh! lurpp you!!
ONLY LOVE - TRADEMARK
2 a.m. and the rain is falling
Here we are at the crossroads once againY
ou're telling me you're so confused
You can't make up your mind
Is this meant to be
You're asking me
But only love can say - try again or walk away
But I believe for you and me
The sun will shine one day
So I'll just play my part
And pray you'll have a change of heart
But I can't make you see it through
That's something only love can do
In your arms as the dawn is breaking
Face to face and a thousand miles apartI
've tried my best to make you see
There's hope beyond the pain
If we give enough, if we learn to trust
I know if I could find the words
To touch you deep inside
You'd give our dream just one more chance
Don't let this be our good-bye.

urgh! its styll de holidaes for mie but yet im up dis early! geesz. and im so pissed off wit soo many things at de moment. ferstly, i hadta wake up as early as six-thirty to sent bro farid to skewl as syz athira is on mc. hadta walk summore. pepagi dah exercise. LOLS! den bought breakfast for mama and syz athira. nasi lemak and epok2. see how nyce i am. (:

i was finally home and was in de room reading de magazine wen uncle amran called. needed mie to head for clementi to pass hym a bottle of water and some soap ; as his bike brokedown. aiyoyo. anoder thingy dat pissed mie off. orang nak dok umah slack pon susah! ader jek keje. tapi takpe. dapat pahala. *angelic smyle* i got ready and headed dere.

wayted while he did de cleaningof his hands and it was lyk nak amek air sembahyang. he even saed it hymself ; "orang yang tengok mesti ingat om nak pegi smayang jumaat." LOLS! he was finally done wit de washing up and we went next to de nearest pump station. his motorbike oil was running low. pumped oil to his bike and we were ready to go off.

he sent mie home and now here i am blogging and chatting wit my bestie about layter and ... *wink* so people! im outta here. but before i go, heres a few shout owts!

baby fizsk: baby!! i miss you!! haix. and i styll gotta wayte tyll monday den can meet you. three daes is lyk eternity! but styll, i'll be gud down here. (: niwae, tanx ehk for being dere for mie all dis while. standing by mie and putting up wit all de shitx i've been throwing to you. but heyy. i've been a gud lil ghurlie okayy dis few daes. didnt gif you any shitx. kan baby kan. hehex. it seems lyk for now, we'll just both hafta patiently wayte for monday. so, tyll den. i love you and will be missing you! andkan b. my fren geri said you look lyk a mat. see! wasnt i right wen i told you dat you had de face of a mat?! hehehe! but watdeva it is, you're styll my baby boi. mwuahxx!

bro farhad: heyy bro! happie berfdae ehkk. well. i wish you all de best in everytynk you do and may you achieve all your goals in lyfe! taking kaire and see you around! sent my regard to your bro too. (:

today was GREAT. eventho wen i was suffering from MOOD SWINGS, baby made me larff my heart out. LOLS.

went to woodlands interchange to meet hym. LEPASKAN RINDU. ohwee. padahal last saturday baru meet. LOLS. actuallie decided to take 969 to tampines ; to grab my shoe from zackie and oso check out de flip flops dere. not to forget, CATCH A MOVIE. and next head for syz sarina's place to grab de ps2 game which baby wanted to borrow.

but our plans was changed. de trip to syz sarina's place was cancelled due to some reasons. and we decided to head for plaza singapura instead. caught the dark dere. and de show kinda suck! it was jumping from one scene to another. both of us didnt understood de show. despite de fact for ONCE we paid full attention to it. (:

de show was finally over. and, shocking but true. he didnt noe how to fix de watch we bought. LOLS. i had it adjusted and wore it on hym. he was smylyng away and i went "alahai. manjenyer! jam pon i kene pakaikan." (: i den took de train which was heading for marina bay to meet up wit my bestie at city hall ; while he took de one heading for jurong east. as he was going back to woodlands to meet up wit his fren by de name of iman or sumtynk. i haf oreadi begun to miss you baby. but takpe. dis saturdae we'll meet again kayss. at de library! mcm paham jek. LOLS.

now here i am blogging. so bored. i wanna be in his arms again. tyll forever! love you strong baby boy. mwuahx!

weitx! why is it so HARD for you to just FORGET hym arh? i noe larh you guys are EXS. and you are exactly RIGHT to say dat EIGHT months being wit hym AINT a SHORT period of time. but PLEASE arh. im using de werd PLEASE! RESPECT his STATUS! he's ATTACHED. and SO ARE YOU. you CONTACT hym wen your dearest prepaid card is LOW. despite KNOWING de FACT dat your ex is now ATTACHED. DAMN it larh! i just DONT find any USE of FIGHTING over dis MATTER. but how wud you FEEL if your dearest's EX contacts hym almost everyday? dont tell mie you're styll gonna be KEWL wit it? NO right! argh! just wart is happening to de world.

just for YOU

how simpler can my lyfe ever get now dat i haf you here wit mie ;
how i cherish each and every breath of myne,
how i crave de light & laughter you haf given to mie.
i haf fallen in lurfeee without taking a step ;
fallen into de sweetest of dreams,
till im wishing dat no one will wake me up.
de simplest gesture wraps itself around my heart,
where i will hold it forever.

each time we say "goodbye",
a part of mie weeps.
though i noe it is nort forever,
to my aching soul it is an eternity.
i see my happiness shine in yewr eyes ;
and my heart seems to be skiping another beat each tyme we held each other close,
it feels like im in heaven noeing how sweet life is to be yours.

never cud i imagine my lyfe without you ;
dey noe nutink of de loneliness before you,
nutink of de empty tears i cried day after day.
"how did you do it?" ;
i asked myself,"
how did you banish de fear and de darkness dat was in mie?".
you haf made mie see dat nutink is bad ;
dat i am strong and worthy of happiness,
you haf saved mie from myself.

everyday i wake up and smyle to myself ;
knowing you are wayting for mie,
knowing you carn wait to see mie.
how wud i go on wit lyfe if you were not dere to hold mie up ;
to bless mie wit your love and light?
no werd cud simply explain how glad i am to haf found you.
my lyfe is now complete ;
it has a home,
in your heart is where it will always stay.

well. after sooo long of not updating, here i am again. lemme update for de past two or maybe three daes aitess. budden its all gonna be in point forms. as im not in de mood to elaborate.

311205
- breakfast at Clementi wit de famelee and auntie sue's famelee.
- stucked in de heavy rain.
- went to big bookshop to shop for de kiddies skewlbooks.
- headed for queensway to shop for their skewl bags next.
- den to auntie sue's in-laws place.
- yak on de fone wit fizsk for abt an hour or so.
* pakai hp step kaya jekk.
- got to noe hadi. syz nirah's fren.
- left dere ard 0115HRS.
- yak on de fone wit fizsk again.
* same feedback applies. just dat dis tyme we yakked longer.*

010106
NOTHING SPECIAL HAPPENED. SO AINT GONNA HAF ANYTYNK TO UPDATE ON.

020106
- breakfast at jurong point banquet wit MY famelee.
- headed for popular to buy skewlbook AGAIN.
* fizsk popped de question up *
- sent mama and bro home.
- went to ginza wit ayah to get my lenses.
- headed home and ironed bro's uniform.
- watched teevee.
- yak on de fone wit irsyarudin shah.

NOW HERE I AM BLOGGING!!

1. Call me
- farlyanna, yanaa & nana.
2.What color of pants are you wearing right now?
- black.
3. Favorite Alcoholic drinks?
- never had any and never will.
4. The last person who messaged you in friendster?
- hafiezah.
5. The last person who texted you?
- syz aifa.
6. The last person you texted?
- steph.
7. Friends You Have Had The Longest?
- steph, my ever reliable childhood bestie.
8. Hugs Or Kisses?
- i want both. (:
9. Favorite Band/Group?
- quite a number.
10. Eye Color?
- black.
11. What do you think of your height?
- im short! =x
12. Words you live by?
- life is short. live it to the fullest.
13. Favourite sport(s)?
- running has been my passion, netball, volleyball.
14. Favorite non-alcoholic Drink(s)?
- green tea and those non-gassy drinks.
15. If You Were A Colour, what color would want to be?
- pynk or maybe blue.
16. Do you party alot?
- yeahh. wit my bestie. (:
17. What Are You Listening To Right Now?
- only love by trademark.
18. Last Person You Talked To On The Phone?
- fizsk.
19. Do You Like The Person Who Sent You This?
- my bestie? i love her! <3>board games?
- hmm. Monopoly & Game of Life.
37. Number Of Keys On Your Key Ring?
- three.
38. Favorite Foods?
- spicy ones and western foods.
39. Which month does your birthday falls in?
- december.
40. Describe 2005
- those tmes.
41. Tv show you watched before sleeping?
- CSI.
42. How Is The Weather Right Now?
- windy.
43. Imaginary friend?
- had one. (:
44. Who are your favourite new friends?
- no particular ones. love all equally. (:
45. What are your plans for 2006?
- study hard an head for poly.

12:30 PM